Hello! Come Join Our VMAs Open Thread!

Katy Perry Gets the Video Vanguard Award? IF YOU SAY SO.

Greetings! The VMAs are back, and so is our open thread for paid subscribers who like to cringe and/or cheer with the company of other Broads. (It’s fun!) Will tonight’s festivities be a shitshow? Fingers crossed! Are the VMAs even relevant anymore? Doubtful! Does it matter whether they are or not? Not really, as long as they give us crazy outfits and performances to parse! Be irrelevant! It’s fine! Just do it with style — or even better, a deranged lack thereof.

We will be covering the VMAs themselves tomorrow, in a delayed edition of our free weekly issue. If you want to join us tonight, here’s the nitty-gritty: The show itself kicks off at 5 p.m. PT/8 p.m. ET live on MTV, plus all the many, many Paramount channels: MTV2, VH1, Logo, BET, CMT, Nickelodeon, Paramount Network, Pop, and TV Land. It will also stream on Paramount+, and be simulcast on Univision. ALLEGEDLY. Last year, the powers that be told us this whole thing was live and then it turned out to be tape-delayed, as if the internet didn’t exist. WHY, in the year of our Lord 2024, is ANYTHING on tape delay?! Get with it!

Anyway! There will also allegedly be a pre-show, per Billboard: “Hosted by Nessa, Dometi Pongo and Kevan Kenney, the 90-minute live VMAs pre-show special airs from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. ET/PT on MTV, MTV2, CMT and Logo.” That entire sentence is just a series of loosely related letters to me! (Once again it does not appear that E! is sending anyone to the red carpet; MTV likes to have exclusivity here but also probably E! is prepping for the Emmys on Sunday. There is nothing like a red carpet without Laverne Cox to make us appreciate Laverne Cox.)

Good news: The show itself will be hosted by Megan Thee Stallion, who will probably be terrific, if her charming Planet Fitness ads are anything to go by. Good news specifically for people who like gossip: Katy Perry, who is in arguably the worst professional slump of her life and who is also currently internet persona non grata for working with noted shithead Dr. Luke, is getting the Video Vanguard Award. Her new album, the one that’s spawned all the issues for her — including a tussle with the Spanish government?! — does not even come out until September 20. This thing feels like it’s been going on forever. Katy needs new management — even if they are the ones who finagled this “honor.”

We’ll also get performances by Eminem — he’s opening the show — and Katy, and Sabrina Carpenter, and Chappel Roan (!!),¹ Halsey, Lenny Kravitz, LL Cool J, Anitta, Halsey… and with Taylor Swift nominated ten times, will she use a win to announce the re-release of Reputation and/or anything else bananas, as is her wont? Will MTV dare let her go home empty handed? Will she bring Killatrav and will he wear a stupid hat? As you can see, we’ll have much to discuss. Please join us for all that AND MORE in today’s open thread kicking off at 3:30 p.m PT/6:30 p.m ET!