Shit Gets Real For Kevin Costner

And GOOP wants to kill Ben Affleck.

In news we did not think we’d be covering in The Year of our Lord 2023, Kevin Costner — whom we last discussed in the context of how much he absolutely loathes Yellowstone — is, as of yesterday, officially getting TWO DIVORCES AT ONCE. First, on Tuesday, word broke that his wife Christine Baumgartner is canning his crabby ass, and Entertainment Tonight¹ chased that on Wednesday with the news that Kevin has definitely, 100%, for sure for sure, gone and quit his day job. This man is messier than the accent he deployed, then didn’t, then did, in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves².

Costner has been a total bitch about Yellowstone for over a year, so while this is not shocking exactly, it’s always a little surprising to see someone pull a demi-Caruso³ on the only reason they’re currently relevant. Costner made it (almost) five seasons and has pots of money, so the situations aren’t totally analogous, but neither is this a George Clooney situation where he left E.R. because the world was his oyste…