How Bad Was It: Red One
Also, discontinued beauty products, and are you poisoned???
As you may recall, last week I literally wrote, “I will not pay money to watch Red One, as it seems to feature a Swole Santa who gets… kidnapped, or something?” Well, this was not technically a lie. I did watch Red One but only because it started rolling after Thursday Night Football ended on Amazon last Thursday, and I really only paid for it in the sense that I have already paid for Amazon Prime.
Friends, I am here to tell you that Red One is not worth paying to see in the theater but that I suppose you could do worse if you need something playing in the background while you try to do the math to convert Martha Stewart’s Cassoulet for 100 into Cassoulet for 10. What that “worse” might be is currently escaping me, but I’m sure it exists. (In fact, it might be fun for us to talk about the worst holiday movies we’ve ever seen, so please feel free to weigh in down in the comments.) I might argue that The Merry Gentleman is worse than Red One, actually, because Red One does at least have…