Finally, People Are Boning on The Gilded Age!
Finally, People Are Boning on The Gilded Age!
PLUS, a VERY surprising blast from the past.
First, some housekeeping! I meant to send a free preview of last week’s recap to everyone, but I clicked the wrong buttons here at Ye Olde Substack and my plan went awry. Which is why every Broad is seeing at least a snippet of episode two’s coverage right now. Hello! The good news is that this episode had a SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT and was also reasonably funny, so it’s an apt one to whet your appetite. Without further ado, please pick up your tennis racket and join me in Newport for some shenanigans and Surprise Banging, and also technically tennis but who cares.
Everyone on The Gilded Age eventually ends up in Newport in this episode except for Peggy, so let’s tackle her and her family first. The Previously On package veered from Bertha Russell archly wondering, “Why don’t I throw a dinner for opera enthusiasts??” to Audra McDonald dramatically announcing, “MY GRANDSON IS DEAD!!!” in a way that felt both like tonal whiplash AND archetypal soap opera. One family in town has all-consuming party planning drama, while someone else is dead. Classic! I do suspect, based on the forthcoming twist, that Julian Fellowes has finally either realized or accepted that The Gilded Age is a soap with a bigger budget, and if true, we can all only benefit from this.
THE SCOTTS:
As predicted, Agnes is very kind and enthusiastic — almost soft — when she agrees to have Peggy come back to work for her. She’s quite the opposite when, as she’s getting ready for bed, she tells Evil Ladies Maid Armstrong that she’d better be nice to Peggy this time, or she’ll be out on her bustle. Armstrong freaks out about this pretty normal directive to not be a total racist ass to a coworker. She’s first prickly, then a complete brat, and even cries. We learned last season that Armstrong is charged with the care of her extremely terrible mother who reminded me of Larry David in a wig, and who I hope is secretly played by him, and I’m sure that’s meant to be part of the reason she loses her mind at the prospect of being out of work. But she’s also currently at the top of my list of people on this show who might consider falling down a well. She is sobbing that she cannot guarantee that she’ll be nice to Peggy. I don’t think this a manipulative attempt to soften Agnes up via tears (that does not seem like something that would work on Agnes) but rather because she knows she is too much of a terrible racist to control her own behavior. Wild suggestion here: try!!!! Finally Agnes snaps, “I see you are mistaking this for a discussion. I was giving an order.” We didn’t even get into the fact that, leaving aside all her other reprehensible qualities, Armstrong is lucky she didn’t get fired for COMMITTING A FEDERAL CRIME in reading Peggy’s letters. (I have strong feelings about the sanctity of the mail!)
Anyway, while Armstrong is weeping about her personal failings in the laundry room or whatever, Peggy goes to her father’s very charming and bustling Brooklyn pharmacy to tell him know she’s heading back to Manhattan for a while because they all need a break from each other after all the lying about whether or not people are still alive. Arthur is apologetic still, but Peggy appears to have completely forgiven him for telling her her baby was dead, secretly giving him to someone else, and having her marriage dissolved because he disapproved. I think Peggy should also consider getting into teaching, and perhaps start with a Learning Annex class on The Art of Forgiveness. Except the Learning Annex didn’t exist until 1980. (Also, I think this détente is partially because the writers realized it would be a bummer to have Peggy and Arthur at Tragic Odds for an entire season again1.) Anyway, he gives her some money and is basically so sad-eyed about this entire thing that she has to remind him that she’s not leaving the whole country.
All the other Downstairs Folks are thrilled to have Peggy back — save, of course, Armstrong, who is still being shirty, up to and including turning down Peggy’s offer of help because she’s fallen behind on some mending. Peggy ends up doing it anyway and then the rest of the staff has to cajole Armstrong into thanking her. Once they’re alone, Armstrong sniffs that she’s surprised Peggy was “allowed back into this house.” Peggy: “I have no quarrel with you, Miss Armstrong. But I promise you do not want one with me.” GET HER PEGGY! Also, I’d add that Armstrong surely does not want a quarrel WITH AGNES, who literally just told her that if they can’t get along, it will be Armstrong’s job that disappears. In addition to being a racist, a mail criminal, and a slow sewer, I’m beginning to believe Armstrong is a moron.
But Peggy has other things to occupy her thoughts beyond trying to manifest Armstrong getting stuck in a laundry press. She’s back working at The Globe with Hot T. Thomas Fortune, who is, I’m happy to report, still hot. Apparently, TTF and his wife lost a baby boy a few years ago and he was grateful for the distraction of work to help him get through that tragedy; he and Peggy agree that, sometimes, “work is the only thing that numbs the pain,”and he’s happy to have her back and gets what she’s going through. (Although I don’t know if he knows the actual details.) At some point in this conversation, I expected him to also say, “And then my wife ALSO died and that was very hard for me but now, now, I know that am ready to love again,” but this has not yet happened. As I’ve noted before, TTF was definitely married this entire time and in real life, Carrie Smiley Fortune (who seems cool) lived until 1940, but… he’s so hot. Listen, I just want Peggy to get to have some fun, okay??!?!
THE VAN RHIJN/BROOKS FAMILY
Agnes spends her time sniffing disapprovingly at things and being low-key mean to Ada, and she and Marian are still being snippy to each other about Marian’s Shameful Secret Watercolor Painting Job. (Did we even know Marian was artistically inclined2?) Speaking of which, it won’t surprise you find out that Marian is a teacher given to comments like, “If you are afraid to fail, you will never succeed,” and being Cousin Dashiell’s Daughter’s Teacher puts her in plenty of places where he can tell her that he admires her moxie in standing up to Agnes, which she really only ever kind of does. As a sidebar: This show is not subtle in its naming conventions. Tom Raikes was… a rake. Now Cousin Dashiell is, presumably, dashing. I can’t wait to meet a new ditzy member of the family named Kitty Dingdong.
As for Ada, I have delightful news. She invited Reverend Robert Sean Leonard for tea, and we learn that he loves dogs (a sign across all media that a person is trustworthy), he is very charming, and, ladies, he’s SIIIIIINGLE! We also spend a lot of time on the fact that he is not, repeat not Catholic and he definitely thinks it’s good that Episcopalian ministers can marry. The entire scene screams, DON’T WORRY, THIS ISN’T THE THORN BIRDS. I am thrilled for Ada that she is (presumably) going to end up with someone who seems so extremely nice and handsome. Agnes thinks Reverend RSL found Ada too chatty, but he clearly did not. Stop being such a buzzkill, Agnes!!
Over to Marian, who is in a bit of a supporting role this week. We’re clearly leading up to a romance with her and Dashiell, who is fairly reasonable and does things like save her from Drunk Suitors in Newport and buy her treats and give her rides home from work — all positive points for any potential suitor. The aforementioned Drunk Suitor is a setup thanks to Aurora Fane, whose Hot Husband Charles works with him at the bank: He’s an Edward Morgan, whose mother is “Arabella Morgan, who was born a Winthrop” and all these High Society Names and Banking Connections, obviously, make him extremely suitable in Agnes’s eyes. There are A LOT of real life Morgans — ask me how I know!!! — but Edward is not one. Arabella Winthrop was a boat3. I assume “Arabella” is a shout-out to Arabella Huntington, on whom Jeanne Tripplehorn’s character is based, and whose Wiki is A RIDE. Wait a sec. Where is Jeanne Tripplehorn’s character? Is she just wandering her art collection, looking sad in front of a variety of carved wooden boxes? Or has she packed up and headed West? I assume we’ll never find out.
Unfortunately, when everyone gets to the tennis tournament at the Newport Casino (which we visited last season) Marian hates Edward Morgan on sight. He does seem awful, and is, at best, a boozy mess — although a funny (to me) one. He spends a lot of time drunkenly waving from inside of what appear to be various groomed hedges, and at one point, he stumbles into a conversation, holding two champagne coupes, and announces, “I can’t WASTE my life on MUSEUMS, I have a LIFE to lead, don’t you agree?” I laughed. But also: YOU BRING SHAME TO OUR FAMILY NAME, EDWARD. Museums are great!
In addition to looking pretty and enjoying Cousin Dashiell’s company and scampering around trying to avoid Drunk Eddie Morgan’s yammering, Marian spends the remainder of this episode making heart eyes at Larry Russell, who has a LOT of OTHER STUFF going on, which I’ll get to; propping up a mildly-but-not-really depressed Oscar (coming up next); and acting as a good friend to Gladys. The Gladys/Marian scenes are fun and I hope we get more of them, especially because, as Marian herself points out, they make a nice dichotomy: George Russell is hell-bent on Gladys marrying for love (I’m getting to it!!), and Agnes will settle for nothing less than a prototypical “good match” for Marian. Louisa Jacobson and Taissa Farmiga have a very natural friend chemistry.
Also crazy hats. WHAT is on Gladys’s HEAD?!
Finally, Oscar. Poor dumb Oscar. He’s been outmatched and outmanned at every turn lately and here it is by George Russell, who received a letter from Oscar asking for Gladys’s hand in marriage. After telling Gladys that he guarantees she can do better than Oscar, and that he demands she marry for love4 — and, more importantly, that he’ll back her up to Bertha when Gladys finds someone she does love — George makes Oscar pop over to George Russell’s Trains ‘n’ Things to discuss. And he is PISSED that Oscar proposed to Gladys without speaking to him first, though he lies to Gladys that he’s going to let Oscar down gently.
This scene, by the way, prompted me here to look up the age difference between Morgan Spector and Blake Ritson, who plays Oscar. Ritson is 45, and Spector is 43 and you can really tell in this scene how much older Oscar is than Gladys — and how much less together he is than George Russell. (I am not wholly sure how old Oscar the character is meant to be, although he does talk a lot about how he’s getting too old to be single. Christine Baranski is 71 in real life; if, say, Agnes is meant to be 65ish, then…yeah, I guess Oscar is believably in his late 30s/early 40s. Oscar, you should have been taking this whole Marriage and Heir Thing more seriously ten years ago!!)
Anyway, George is pissed and is basically like, “Yeah, the answer is no, BYE.” Oscar swears (not believably) that he’s in love with Gladys (although, as I’ve said before, I do think Oscar likes Gladys as a person), and George also doesn’t buy it, and reiterates that his priority is that Gladys’s marriage be a love match for Gladys. He really kinda hands Oscar’s ass to him while Oscar just sit there holding a manila folder of, like, I don’t know, his bank statements or something, and looks…deeply perplexed. If all that was letting Oscar down gently, I would have LOVED to see George letting Oscar down roughly. No disrespect to Oscar. Well, maybe some; Oscar is bungling this. OSCAR. LEARN TO READ A ROOM. Didn’t he listen at all when Disgraced Ladies Maid Turner told him that George was a tough nut to crack?! Has he not… just looked outside his window and across the street to see George threatening to ruin people’s lives? It’s also wild to me that Oscar made this half-cocked proposal without considering that Bertha might not like him. He really did not think this through. Oscar might ALSO be a moron.
Instead, toward the end of the episode, Oscar meets a young woman who is perhaps more suited to him than Gladys, anyway. Her name is Maude Beaton, and she is young and pretty and makes it clear that she’s only heard good things about his mother, and they’re very flirtatious with each other. Aurora Fane later tells Oscar that Maude’s father is officially “John Beaton” but is probably REALLY Jay Gould, who “takes an interest in her.” Good news for Oscar is that she’s rich AF and “accepted everywhere” despite the mysteries of her paternity, and also her mother is dead. (Maude is not a real person but Jay Gould allegedly did have some illegitimate children. And six ones born in his marriage, including a daughter whose personal life seems like it was a MESS and a son who had to pay out the largest alimony payment in history at the time.) Aurora warns Oscar that he’d better not fuck Maude over — in her gentle, non-swear-y way — but… let’s get real. It’s Oscar.
THE RUSSELLS
At last! Hang on to your bonnets, because SHIT GOT REAL this week. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I GASPED at the reveal herein.