*ALL* Subscribers Can Comment Today, Because Let's Face It, We May Need Each Other

Let's talk about what's great in your life, and who people think "People" thinks is sexy.

Today seems like it might be stressful at best for our American readers and, frankly, for our Emotional Support Canadians, along with basically anyone from anywhere else. As such, we’ve opened comments for everyone all day long. Usually commenting is a perk for the paid subscribers, and it will be again, but on this election day we have a feeling everyone is going to need each other all day long — both for frothy distractions AND potentially for venting.

And while we’ve got good fluff to discuss today, we also thought it’d be lovely to add an element to counteract all of the… EVERYTHING… by encouraging everyone to share something that’s going right in their world right now. We’re too often told not to talk ourselves up, especially women, so please: Brag about your wins! Celebrate someone else’s! It doesn’t have to be huge. Although we definitely want to hear if you got a promotion or had a baby or won a Nobel prize or bought a condo, we also want to high five you if you slept well last night, or grew a thriving plant. Is your pet cute? Did your child wear an adorable Halloween costume? Did you eat a great muffin? Is the weather nice today? Share the good stuff — so that we can be reminded on a micro level that whatever happens today in the election, we’ve definitely got some wins out there.

Finally: If you haven’t voted yet, consider this your nudge to get over there. You can read this newsletter in line! If you run into issues at the polls, 866-OUR-VOTE is a non-partisan election protection hotline and they’re very nice and helpful. If you need a ride to your polling place, Lyft and Uber are both offering discounts today. (And your neighborhood might have other options; Los Angeles, for example, is offering free transit all day!) Good luck!

---

Who Will Be The Sexiest Man Alive?

People magazine unleashes its new Sexiest Man Alive on November 12, which means we have a week’s worth of speculation to engage in before the winner ends up probably being a very safe choice and maybe even underwhelming. Sorry, Patrick Dempsey 2023, but I suspect even you agree. I had forgotten he won last year until I looked up all the past covers, something I highly suggest doing every year because they are always a hoot. Adam Levine? Girl, please. Bradley Cooper’s cover shot looks like they pulled it from a website testimonial about how great sleep dentistry is. And I never stop being amused that the first three were Mel Gibson, Mark Harmon, and Harry Hamlin. Such a time capsule.

Former winner Chris Hemsworth announced that it should go to his new costar Brian Tyree Henry, and while I support that, I think we all know this is a fame game and BTH sadly is not enough of a name. People needs to peddle print copies on newsstands, after all, so they seem likely to go either with someone nostalgic, or someone unavoidably famous, ideally with a project to pitch.

My first thought was Glen Powell, who had a very big year and has indeed been hither and yon since Top Gun: Maverick, upping his household name quotient considerably. He is RIDICULOUSLY charming and has a very popular and adorable dog named Brisket, and you just know the whole shoot would be wholesome as hell while also impressively shirtless and perhaps a little sprinkler-dampened.

People did a reader poll with some extremely niche categories and he won Sexiest Summer Action Star, so maybe that means Powell didn’t take the top prize, or didn’t want it, or wasn’t prepared to pay for it, and this is People’s way to include him anyway — but it by no means disqualifies him, either. I have to warn you that 99 percent of the rest of this piece MIGHT just be a lot of words that amount to nothing because Powell has it in the bag.

However, my immediate second thought: Jonathan Bailey. Between Bridgerton and Fellow Travelers and what I assume is an endless budget for Wicked, it’s a strong pick. This man knows how to stare lust daggers right through your face.

Can anyone deny that this man is walking loinfire? No. And I believe he’d be the first openly gay man to win Sexiest Man Alive, which is long overdue.

His BOSOM is heaving, for God’s sake! I honestly think he’d be my pick.

Jacob Elordi popped up in that aforelinked viewer-vote piece as Sexiest New Heartthrob, but I still think he’s too niche for the newsstand. His version of Elvis didn’t really captivate people long-term; let’s see how his Heathcliff goes over. Also, a man who just deactivated his social media amid speculation he’s doing the American Psycho remake does not seem like a dude who’s simultaneously getting ready to grin up at us from the checkout line while talking about what stirs his soul. And on the subject of Elvises, I think Austin Butler needed one of his other non-Dune projects to hit big, so he’s also out for me. No Elvises.

Sam Heughan from Outlander is an evergreen contender, because I assume this demographic LOVES Jamie Fraser. Outlander comes back after this issue drops so it’s excellent timing, and because they just wrapped the entire series, it’s a prime moment for Heughan to make the case to studios that he’s Hot Shit and Doesn’t Have Jamie’s Hair In Real Life and is Also Totally Available Now.

Never rule out Denzel Washington ‘96, no matter how old he is. (Currently, 69, the inverse of the last year he won… COINCIDENCE???) He’s presiding over Gladiator II and producing The Piano Lesson, an August Wilson adaptation starring one son and directed and co-written by the other. Paul Mescal doesn’t seem like he’s there yet, but Pedro Pascal is another contender from GladIIator who’s also got The Last of Us and a great SNL stint under his belt.

I am hoping we are done with The Rock ‘16 for a while, but with Red One and Moana 2, and how badly he probably wants to kick dirt over the grave of that big The Wrap story about what an unprofessional douche he is… well, sadly, predictably, that story already may have been forgotten, which might help his cause if he wants the title again. Chris Evans is in Red One too, but he won it in 2022, and they’ve never repeated anyone that quickly. Plus Glen Powell feels like he is Chris Evans Rising, and therefore the more correct choice in this instance. Spiritually, Glen is a Hollywood Chris, perhaps? Although I could see his career going in a Ryan Gosling direction; I can’t tell yet. Is Ryan Gosling ALSO spiritually a Hollywood Chris? Wait, why am I going DEEP on this today? (I am operating on the assumption that we already expelled Crisp Rat from both conversations.)

Speaking of Gosling, Eva Mendes has been doing a trickle more press engagement lately, so perhaps they’ll get our erstwhile O.G. Ken on the cover with some couples and family content. I personally think The Gos would rather eat nails.

Javier Bardem just did some kind of FYC event for Dune 2, so MAYBE someone will go with him? I truly cannot see him engaging with this, but he’s a sexy older man with a sexy age-appropriate spouse, the latter of which only makes him seem better. On that tip, if Daniel Craig were to win it in this, the year of his aesthetic renaissance and entry into Noted Kookdom, I would love it.

In a just world, Manny Jacinto of The Good Place and The Acolyte would get it, but Disney canned The Acolyte and so he might not be high-profile enough for the cover. He IS in Freakier Friday, though, coming up next year. Maybe Jamie Lee Curtis will stop at NOTHING to get him the spread he richly deserves.

Ooh, is Donald Glover too niche?

If we’re leaning nostalgia, Harrison Ford ‘98 is on Shrinking’s second season. He would surely hate this idea but also probably wouldn’t say no to it. If we’re talking other Oscar long-listers, People might consider Andrew Garfield (We Live In Time), Colman Domingo (Sing Sing), and Cillian Murphy (Small Things Like These). but they, and relative newcomer Jharrel Jerome (Unstoppable) all feel to me like people who’d be included inside the magazine.

Also, if Kevin Costner is feeling the pinch and wants execs to commit to putting the other parts of Horizon on the release schedule, then he might want to make a play for this — especially as his Yellowstone episodes are approaching. He would absolutely NOT be my pick, at all, which is not a comment on his physical sexiness but rather everything else. This is definitely an outlier choice. But! People presumably cares only for sales numbers and maybe Costner plays well in the heartland, or whatever. Also, was anyone else surprised to see he didn’t win this in the ‘90s?¹

If Pacey gets it because Ryan Murphy wants to promote Doctor Odyssey, I will laugh and laugh (but also not disagree, because he has been in OUTSTANDING form lately). But if we’re going for a TV star… I mean:

To be clear, I am nominating Alan Cumming, not the bird.

Now, I have no known beef with Travis Kelce and I think he is exactly the kind of lighthearted, goofy, hygienically responsible person that would be appealing to date after everything has been super angsty and heavy and dramatic. He and Taylor Swift seem to have a lot of fun, and their fame levels match nicely. Having said that, if @ killatrav wins Sexiest Man Alive, I will assume it People’s desperate love letter to Taylor and her PR guru Tree Paine. If he wins it and it comes with a photoshoot of him and Taylor lounging in his Kansas City mansion and/or behind the scenes shots of them during the Eras Tour, then I think Tree Paine should be given her own island somewhere.

Looking again at recycled picks: Ryan Reynolds hasn’t won since 2010, and gunning for this is definitely not something his household is above doing despite the fact that they would absolutely pretend it was not on their bingo cards. (Saying someone is gunning for this is not necessarily an insult. It’s okay to want things, even when they are frivolous. Although they probably would see it as helpful PR-washing after It Ends With Us.) His co-star Hugh Jackman won in 2008 and is now embroiled in speculation that he and Sutton Foster left their spouses for each other. Maybe a joint cover will be their medicine. In terms of other alums, Ben Affleck ‘02 would be a hilarious choice right now which they will not make, and that’s both right and also sort of a bummer; if they pick Matthew McConaughey ‘05 I will buy an issue of People JUST to throw it off a cliff (I am exaggerating; I would recycle it responsibly). I am so tired of that dude.

Tom Holland would be a play for the youth market, but would any of us old crones really be upset about it? As we noted before, HE MADE ZENDAYA SOME BUILT-INS. That is the way to anyone’s heart, surely. What is sexier than a man who will CRAFT for you??? I guess a man who will lip synch for you. Oops, I did it again:

I realize I did this the other day, as well, but honestly, when DON’T we need this?

— Heather

---

But No BEEEEEES!!!!!?

As if she knew people would need to be spending their feelings this week, Oprah released her iconic Favorite Things list on Monday.

I miss the years when this gift guide was more sincerely unhinged, but I do think these shoes are hilariously HIDEOUS!!!² (even if Oprah has apparently sold them out!) and I love whoever managed to push through an inflatable snowmobile. But I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t want this (uh, $200) sunshine yellow popcorn popper, or this ($55!!) tin of very fancy Spanish potato chips. I’m also tempted by this trio of fancy marmalades and I’m probably not beyond paying $75 for a pound cake if I’m in an extremely dark place, which I might be!!! (I do routinely pay $50 for a coffee cake at Christmas even if I’m in a good place.) Is it a coincidence that everything I want to buy is a foodstuff? Probably not.

— Jessica

---

Also On the Hollywood Merch Beat: Mariah Carey

The Queen of Christmas has an Amazon storefront now, featuring all the seasonal — but, Christmas, because that’s her brand — decor you could possibly want and much that you don’t. For example, there’s a $160 lawn inflatable of Mariah in a sleigh delivering gifts with three reindeer, but if that’s too much, she shrank it down and put it inside a $60 snow globe of which one non-verified purchaser said, “This snow globe looks cheap af and does it even play a song? Do better Mariah:” Colon theirs.

There’s also a doormat that says, “Why are you so obsessed with me,” a satin sleep set and wrapping paper with her MC logo on it, an $85 woven blanket with her image on it, a tree skirt, more t-shirts with her face, slogans, or song lyrics on them than you could possibly imagine, a $48 Mariah Barbie, and a ruby-colored vinyl edition of… Cher’s 2023 record Christmas? Sure. The Christmas ornament that says “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is one of the very few items on this list Mariah MAYBE signed off on herself; most of it devolves quickly into sponsored links and then just any old thing Amazon has that comes up if you search up “Mariah Carey Christmas.” Also, even though she proclaimed it time, it’s TOO EARLY, MARIAH. I know Canadians often go straight to Christmas after their early October Thanksgiving, in part because it gets VERY cold to be hanging decorations much later than that, but the very earliest I can get into the spirit is the end of November. We JUST took down Halloween! Give me a second, lady.

— Heather

---

Coming Up, and ICYMI…

The Doctor Odyssey death theory has been gaining traction elsewhere; we did a How Dead Are They update about the second episode after writing about the premiere, and this Thursday — when, again, we might need only the most frivolous of content — we’ll do it again with episodes 3-5.

This past Friday, we wrapped up Only Murders in the Building. Thank you for hanging out at the Arconia with us this year. Did you figure it out before the finale? Our recap:

"Are You Suggesting We PIVOT?"

On Thursday, we dove into everyone’s Distractables — stuff that can distract you from, you know, whatever!!!!!! — and Heather convinced me to watch The Franchise:

Who Needs a Distraction?!?

If you want in, it’s never too late:

---

Last Call

— As of my typing this on Monday evening, the folks at the New York Times Tech Guild are on strike for, among other things, protections similar to those extended to the paper’s News Guild; the Tech Guild includes the people who make the Games and Cooking app, among other things, and God knows those two features are probably a huge reason why the NYT’s net income went up 20% this quarter. It was painful for me not to Wordle today but also literally the least I could do! (This is simply a theory but I have to think this Guild striking the day before the election was a nuclear option for them; this will not affect the paper’s news coverage but I’m sure it impacts stuff behind the scenes to some point.) Here’s a link to the strike fund, and the Tech Guild’s demands, if you’re interested. (Someone gave $20k yesterday!!) — J

— Shirley MacLaine just casually dropped — IN A COFFEE TABLE BOOK?!!? —that she believes Marilyn Monroe, er, often entertained both JFK and RFK on the same evening. I (obviously) have no way of knowing if this is true but I feel like, up in Heavenly Hollywood, Marilyn has to be like, “Can we please stop gossiping about me, already?!?!!!!!!!!!!!” (RFK is probably distracted thinking about what a dingus his son is.) — J

— Martha Stewart and Ryan Reynolds are in a fight because she said he’s not funny, and let me just say that I am Team Martha here. RyRey is SNARKY but I would not say that I find him particularly funny and I fully expect Martha doesn’t find his schtick that entertaining. (I also suspect he’s kinda non-funny in real life.) (Ironically, though, I do think his response to this was funny! He might be funnier in writing?) (In fullest disclosure, I think Reynolds is great as Deadpool and I loved season one of Wrexham, but his vibe to me always reads sort of patronizing and Martha… does not suffer a patronizing man.) (Parentheses!!!!!) — J

— This is a really emotional Kamala Harris endorsement from Dick Van Dyke: He read from a speech he gave at an MLK rally in 1964. — H

— The Gilded Age added YET MORE people to its cast, including Dylan Baker, which… of COURSE Dylan Baker is going to be on this show. How has this not happened already?!? From Deadline:

HBO‘s The Gilded Age has tapped six for supporting roles in Season 3: Dylan Baker (The Good Wife), Kate Baldwin (Broadway’s Hello, Dolly!), Michael Cumpsty (Severance), John Ellison Conlee (Boardwalk Empire), Bobby Steggert (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), and newcomer Hannah Shealy (The Rose Tattoo).

Baker plays Dr. Logan, a family doctor who treats a number of high society families, with Baldwin as Nancy Adams Bell, the older sister of John Adams (Claybourne Elder). Cumpsty portrays Lord Mildmay, a British nobleman who comes to dine at Sidmouth Castle, with Conlee as the successful, educated and polished businessman, Weston; Steggert as the famed artist John Singer Sargent, who has just begun his career painting the great ladies of society; and Shealy as Charlotte Astor, the married daughter of Mrs. Astor (Donna Murphy), recently returned from an eventful trip abroad.

Juicy, and as Jessica pointed out, it will lead to excellent deep dives. And for the record, Baker, Cumpsty, Conlee, and Steggert (a daytime TV alum also!) are all Tony nominees, and Baldwin is a two-time Tony nominee. Because of course! — H

1. I will note that a vote AGAINST this possibility is that he was on People’s cover in July as like…The Greatest Thing About America, and being that AND Sexiest Man Alive seems like overkill?

2. They are by the Spanx founder and they are HIDEOUS and they cost like $650!!!!!! WHY. -H