Who Is Your Most Beloved Parasocial Celebrity Couple?

Also: Cruise scam updates! Step-and-repeat drama! And the unfettered joy of This Is Me...Now.

Thanks to awards season, we haven’t properly discussed the most momentous pop culture event of our time: Jennifer Lopez’s This Is Me… Now, or as it’s known in my home and my heart, THE FILM.

This Is Me… Now started life as an album sequel of sorts to This Is Me… Then, which came out in 2002 around the time J.Lo and Ben Affleck got engaged, and which includes both “Jenny From The Block” and a song called “Dear Ben.” The latter is an ode to how perfect Ben is — literally, it opens with, “You’re perfect” — and his prowess in the sack, and also includes this awkward, unsexy line: “My lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend, and my king.” One of these things is not like the others, Jennifer.

Anyway, when Ben and Jen got back together and made it down the aisle, the new album materialized, including “Dear Ben, Part II,” obviously the most hotly anticipated sequel since Big Little Lies 3. Naturally, she turned the whole shebang into A Movie Event with the help of Amazon and music video/comm…