I Completed the Barbenheimer (Sort Of): A Deeply Serious and Spoiler-Free Review

Also: The summer bestsellers of the 1970s include some bangers

For many of us, this weekend was the closest we will ever come to attempting a marathon: the Barbenheimer double-header. Could we really pull off that sacred swerve, the Holy Grail of cinematic journeys? Three hours of nuclear physics, two hours of nuclear pinkness, and — at our local theater, anyway — a combined one hour of commercials and previews bef…