Doctor Odyssey Deadness Watch

Plus, the new Met Gala theme, we wonder about your Presidential platform (lighthearted!!!), and yet more It Ends With Us gossip.

Last week, we wrote about Doctor Odyssey and our — well, my husband’s — theory that everyone on the ship is dead, and Don Johnson is the Ferryman taking them all to the Other Side. The show remains so shockingly banal and bland that I’ve decided this is the only remotely acceptable way to consume it, and ergo, I present to you a valuable Doctor Odyssey update entitled, “How Dead Are They: Episode 2.”

• Don Johnson collapses from a mysterious health episode and wakes up in the clinic bathed in a strong beam of white light. Dead.

• The ads use “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” by Belinda Carlisle. Dead.

• The Odyssey rescues a woman who was adrift from her fishing vessel, and as she recovers in the clinic, she watches Dying Young. COME ON.

• After this woman reveals the love of her life was aboard her wrecked boat, and now she is alone in the world with no one, they magically find him off-camera and deliver him to her — and they embrace, again, while standing in a white light, both clearly having died …