"Are You Suggesting We PIVOT?"

Nope, it's not "Friends," it's the "Only Murders in the Building" finale recap.

It’s over. We know who did it, why, and where. But several questions remain, and one is more important than the rest. One tease unfulfilled; one promise implied, but not kept. One balloon of hope sniped at the Arconia and now lying in pieces on the terrace, the one murder our trio won’t solve.

WHY DIDN’T DETECTIVE DA’VINE GET TO MEET ZACH GALI-FINE-AKIS, her fuckable baklava?!?

There are surely practical answers, but I don’t want those. I don’t WANT all those breadcrumbs, only for the promised land to be out of reach. How could they DO this to the world’s most capable detective never to actually solve a murder at the Arconia? She loved that spunky comedic spanakopita. She wanted to warm her hands with the flames of that hot hunk of flambeed feta. She was gonna climb him like a, um, tree of moussaka…? Their imagined chemistry was my favorite, thanks entirely to Da’Vine’s line deliveries, and I’m sad we were denied the chance to see them collide while Eva Longoria was doing Loretta’s ma…