ALERT: Heather Has Watched THE FILM

Also, Pete Davidson is still together with Madelyn Cline?!?! And a book giveaway.

As promised, I did sit down this weekend with This Is Me… Now, a.k.a. THE FILM, J.Lo’s musical magnum opus. And an hour later, I stood up again and thought, “Huh,” and went about my day, which truly is the reaction I expected the least. I thought it might horrify me, or horrify me to find out that it was amazing; last week I posited that the worst possible outcome for Jennifer was for THE FILM to be mid and to attract no conversation — no “It’s kind of AMAZING” and no “IT’S A SHITSHOW" — and so far unfortunately for her, it feels like a lot of nothing is exactly what she got. On Friday, it was billed as #1 on Amazon; by Sunday, when I went back to check something, it was already missing from Prime Video’s homepage entirely and I had to strain to find it.

THE FILM purports to be an explanation or examination of J.Lo’s romantic outlook, versus the way she’s been written about and branded through her public life. The problem is that Jennifer didn’t turn out to have any actual dramatic or…