I Completed the Barbenheimer (Sort Of): A Deeply Serious and Spoiler-Free Review

Also: The summer bestsellers of the 1970s include some bangers

For many of us, this weekend was the closest we will ever come to attempting a marathon: the Barbenheimer double-header. Could we really pull off that sacred swerve, the Holy Grail of cinematic journeys? Three hours of nuclear physics, two hours of nuclear pinkness, and — at our local theater, anyway — a combined one hour of commercials and previews before the movies, plus a fair bit of extra time in the concession line? That’s six straight hours crammed in a room with strangers, with a mild intermission in between. I haven’t done that since the last time I was called to jury duty.

In the end, I couldn’t pull it off, not entirely: Due to my inability to bend time and space to my will, we were only able to achieve Oppenheimer on Saturday and Barbie on Sunday. Would we call that a partial Barbenheimer? An imitation Barbenheimer? A Fauxbenheimer? Still, we did it, even if it meant seeing Barbie from the third row and somewhat slumped in my seat so that I could get some neck support. Those…