A Hail Mary for DAYS, an Art Heist, and an HBO Crossover

Plus, more Kennedys AND Burton/Taylor projects.

Everything is coming up Gosling! Project Hail Mary is (deservedly) making buckets of money — I saw it this weekend and the theatre was full; I cannot remember the last time I had to sit next to a stranger at the movies — but, more importantly, the press push has perhaps placed him on the path to booking his dream role: Days of Our Lives.

If you haven’t been keeping an eye on this news story, Gosling went on Josh Horowitz’s Happy Sad Confused podcast to promote PHM and in the course of their interview waxed poetic about how he thinks soap opera actors are exceptional and that Days of Our Lives was his own youthful acting school. Not that he was on it; he was just watching it when he was home sick from school and appreciating the craft behind Marlena’s demonic possession like the rest of us. Anyway, Horowitz was gobsmacked by this revelation. I am not familiar with this man’s podcast — or in fact this man in general — but his response to this confession made him look like a snob, and an uneducated one at that. Our current Best Actor winner, after all, debuted on All My Children, alongside previous nominee Amanda Seyfried, and half of Hollywood got its start on soaps. Julianne Moore, anyone? Demi Moore, anyone? Meg Ryan! Alec Baldwin (though they might disavow him now)! It’s very elitist and dumb, in the Year of our Lord 2026, to be snotty about soap operas. If it’s good enough for Darth Vader, it’s good enough for you. At any rate, Gosling was not deterred by this reaction; the man sincerely loves Deidre Hall and he was ready to talk about it.

This entire exchange led to a development I predicted but was still delighted by: Deidre Hall came on Instagram and invited Ryan to visit the set of Days, and Ryan (via his wife Eva Mendes’s social media) accepted. She promised she would not be possessed when he arrived; she also lightly, perfectly, shaded Josh Horowitz. As satisfying as this was, it is also not enough for me, or for anyone else. Obviously, Ryan Gosling needs to GUEST STAR on Days. It doesn’t need to be a long stint. He could do a week-long turn as a mysterious doctor who sneaks truth serum into the water supply, kicking off several weeks of chaos. This doctor will then, naturally, be disfigured in an oil rig explosion so the show can either recast him¹ or Ryan Gosling can come back and do several weeks of Acting with gauze wrapped around his face, which would likely be fun for him. This would be tremendous PR for Days of Our Lives, it would be a bucket list item for Ryan Gosling, and it would be a delight for the rest of us. After all, it was good enough for Elizabeth Taylor.

— Jessica

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Speaking of Elizabeth Taylor…

The next season of Ryan Murphy’s Love Story may be focused on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. I am already tired, thinking of the way this show will likely open with a dying Elizabeth Taylor flashing back to her most epic romance. (You KNOW Team Murphy will find a way to get into an extreme close-up on Taylor’s final breaths, it’s just what they do to powerful women.²) Can we just re-run the Lindsay Lohan version and be done with it? For what it’s worth, and not that it matters to him a bit, I think Elizabeth Taylor would hate Ryan Murphy. By all accounts, she was an extremely empathetic person and Murphy seems to primarily view other people as characters rather than real humans. All that being said, I support the people who wrote Furious Love getting paid for any and all adaptations. I just wish the adaptors were people who ever demonstrated a working belief that famous women are actually human beings, too.

— Jessica

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Wake Up Babe, a New Art Heist Just Dropped.

The New York Times reports that three thieves broke into the Magnani-Rocca Foundation in Parma last week, and made off with three paintings in three minutes, lifting works by Renoir, Matisse, and Cézanne. The NYT writes:

“It is the latest high-profile, brazen theft to hit the art world, coming less than six months after a gang of thieves broke into the Louvre in Paris and stole some of the museum’s crown jewels in broad daylight. Experts say that such heists have surged in recent years, especially as technological advancements and cryptocurrencies have made it easier to launder such treasures.”

Art Net expands:

James Ratcliffe of the Art Loss Register, which has registered the stolen works in its database, believes this latest Italian heist should be viewed in a different light from the Louvre incident.

“The pictures stolen only have value if they are kept intact as artworks. They have no financial value if destroyed in the way that the jewelry stolen in Paris would as gold and gems,” he said in a statement. “This means that if the thieves wish to somehow benefit financially from this theft they will need to sell the pictures as art, or perhaps try to ransom it back to its insurer if there was one. ”

Or even that, perhaps, the thieves haven’t thought through what they’d do with the paintings after they got them. (Maybe all these guys have a rollicking group chat about their greatest art fencing tips and tricks.) It even feels possible that there are some insane billionaires out there hiring thieves to lift items from various museums simply because they want them. Either way, if you’d asked me ten years ago whether I thought we’d find ourselves living in period of hot art heists, I’d…well, I guess I would have believed it. What do I know about historical art heist trends? I guess it’s better than serial murder, but that seems like a low bar.

— Jessica

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The Gilded Lotus

Two more name actors checked into The White Lotus: Heather Graham and Rosie Perez. If you’re keeping score, this cast now includes: Helena Bonham Carter, Chris Messina, Steve Coogan, ​​AJ Michalka, Sandra Bernhard, Max Greenfield, Kumail Nanjiani, Chloe Bennet, Vincent Cassel, Alexander “Twilight” Ludwig, Charlie Hall a.k.a. Child of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, this new group, and also a bunch of actors that we haven’t mentioned previously because we am not familiar with them. Is this season going to be 17 episodes? Are we making a return to the days of 32 episode seasons? Actually, Mike White would probably be into that.

Funny how the big shows Jessica recaps — this and The Gilded Age — tend to have the lengthiest and longest casting reports. I find myself wishing we could do a very long HBO special in which they switch casts but film the same scripts… which is why I kicked this segment out of Last Call into its own segment, to cast just that:

Bertha Russell: Carrie Coon is in both shows, and obviously, she could stay put. But she should be allowed to spread her wings. Bertha is new money and new status, and she would die rather than give it up; presumably she just doesn’t think, at this age, that she’s meant to live an uncomfortable life. Admit it, you’d love to see Parker Posey’s Bertha confound both Agnes Van Rhijn and viewers alike. She would THRIVE under Bertha’s various hats. Maybe let Carrie Coon use age prosthetics and wigs to play Mrs. Astor so that we might FINALLY see her and Parker Posey in a proper scene together.

George Russell: Does that mean Jason Isaacs has to manage Trains ‘n’ Things? He’d do an awesome job running it into the ground. Maybe Jon Gries can step in for Patrick Page as his right-hand-man turned nemesis. Also, his Isaacs’s Lotus character went to Duke, and here his daughter MARRIED a duke, so the synergy is practically destiny.

Mamie Fish: Surely Jennifer Coolidge would be our favorite society gossip whom the show’s Wikipedia page describes as “a self-styled fun-maker.” Unless…

Aunt Ava: Jennifer would be a very different take on the character, but none of the gays on this show would be trying to kill her, so that’s a bonus. Please imagine Jennifer bumbling around the Van Rhijn house ineptly, unable to stand up to Agnes for a time, occasionally blurting out something blunt and cranky, and having really bad luck with men before marrying the Reverend Steve Zahn. Bannister (Sabrina Impacciatore) would be so flustered.

Aunt Agnes: There are not so many elders in The White Lotus. I submit that one cannot replace Christine Baranski anyway, so just have her stick around and then watch her try and process literally anything Jennifer Coolidge says or does.

Marian: As much as I’d love to see everyone lose their shit over Sydney Sweeney taking this part, to me the clear answer is Sarah Catherine Hook. Well, honestly, the clear answer is probably gender-flipping it and giving it to Sam Nivola, who was so convincing as sweet, gormless Lochy. Then again, Lochy was also a incestuous handjob merchant and Marian would never…

Clock Twink: … therefore, hello, Sam Nivola, this Bud’s for you.

Marian’s love interest from season 1 who was named, like, Tom Rascal, or whatever: Okay, I looked it up, and it was Tom Raikes. CLOSE ENOUGH. This would be Theo James or Patrick Schwarzenegger. But probably Theo James. The man can play a rake.

Larry: Probably Adam DiMarco. His White Lotus character is more of an Oscar, in the sense that he gave all his money to a Lady of the Night who conned him — Simona Tabasco for Maude Beaton, anyone? — but Larry is very cute and also sometimes punchable, which fits.

Gladys: Clearly Aimee Lou Wood, right? Both her White Lotus character and Gladys spend a lot of time staring at people in confusion.

Gladys’s Duke: He seems a nice enough fellow, if at times ineffectual. Will Sharpe is probably the answer, but don’t you want to see Walton Goggins try this? He would be wildly miscast and it would be incredible.

Peggy: The White Lotus is full of white people, given that it’s primarily mocking us, but Brittany O’Grady could fill Peggy’s shoes and then Natasha Rothwell — only 16 years her senior, but they can age her up — could sub in for Audra, who should then head off to White Lotus season 5, or better, The White Lotus on Broadway, which will win her another Tony.

Aurora Fane: Meghann Fahy might be the wrong age, but who cares? Aurora is so kind and has been SO WRONGED by her dumb cad of a husband. Fahy would kill it. She could kill him, too, and it would be believable.

Ward McAllister: Come on. It’s Tom Hollander’s to lose. And in his hands, Ward COULD turn into a murderous gay man. Imagine the scandal in Newport! Maybe HE can kill that lousy Charles Fane (whose role has been taken by Jake Lacy, clearly).

Oscar: Murray Bartlett is likely too old, but whatever, I’ve made all kinds of bad suggestions in here; what’s one more? He’d be incredible as sad, sweaty future opium addict Oscar, who watches his lover (Leo Woodall) get trampled by a horse and carriage. And he would really enjoy getting to be in a lavender marriage with…

Turner: AUBREY PLAZA. HELLO.

— Heather

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Boom Goes The Bracket

Duke’s twin losses in the NCAA Tournaments this weekend exploded several people’s Dunks With Broads entries, including mine in the men’s edition, as I picked them to win the whole thing. This is my curse. I always somehow end up with Duke winning even if I don’t really think Duke will win, and the only years they win are the ones where I fluke into another outcome. Apologies to my Duke friends. I truly believe I am the problem, and I will never pick them again.

However, with further apologies to those same friends… WOW, THAT FINISH from UConn! It feels like the tournament hasn’t had as many thrilling endings as usual, but a three from the suburbs that swishes through with 0.3 on the clock? Wonderful. Sadly, the OTHER UConn knocked out my Fighting Irish women and Niele Ivey’s amazing red lipstick. It wasn’t unexpected. Now I can root for UCLA against UConn to support Jessica, although UConn is my pick for the championship. Look how selfless I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEROIC!!!!

Anyway: The standings got scrambled, as they do. In Dunks With Broads, Kelly and Lauren are tied for first. Lauren is our longtime friend and my old roommate, a match made by none other than Jessica, but I swear she is not a ringer. She just watches a lot of sports and is a Bruin, and they’re still alive — though Kelly has more potential points to win than Lauren does. Behind them is my sister Alison (Texas) in third, Kristin in fourth, and Gaby and Laurie in fifth, all UConn. Alison sent me a text this weekend screenshotting her placement for posterity before she goes off a cliff, but so far, she’s only ascended — including from 4th to 3rd on the strength of Monday’s results alone. The entire family reputation is resting on your shoulders now, Al. NO PRESSURE. I somehow shot up to 23rd, with 3 out of the Final Four correct, and Jessica went down to 45th, also with 3 out of the Final Four correct?!? And when I first drafted this post in the late afternoon yesterday, we were tied in the 30s. WHO KNOWS.

In the Men’s Edition, Julia owns first place and Ellen is right behind her, though Ellen has more potential points to win (and they both picked Michigan to take it all). Stephanie (Arizona) is right behind them, with Jennifer (Arizona) and Hope tied for fourth, but Hope may not have much left since her Duke pick went kaboom. And in sixth, we have Anne, who put all her chips behind Illinois. I am sitting in 90th and enjoying the view from the back of the plane, where the restrooms have not yet started to smell.

Good luck, all, heading into the final weekend!

— Heather

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Last Call:

— I whipped up a little something about the end of Bridgerton’s fourth season, and the news about its fifth, so paid subscribers should look for that tomorrow in their inboxes. — H

— In other casting — and Kennedy — news, Netflix has released a ton of casting info about their upcoming Kennedys miniseries. We already knew that Michael Fassbender would be playing patriarch (and infamous dickhead) Joe Kennedy. The primary cast looks to be a bunch of people I am not super familiar with, with a variety of more famous faces in presumably smaller roles, like Imogen Poots as Gloria Swanson, Wyatt Russell as Charles Lindbergh, and Caitlin FitzGerald as Clare Boothe Luce. I’m open to this!³ — J

— Daryl Hannah was unhappy with her portrayal in Love Story — understandably — and one of the producers has responded to her op-ed by basically handwaving her and saying, “We did our homework, gosh, sometimes it’s hard for people to see themselves portrayed, and we’re smarter than Internet Hot Take artists.” So basically, he’s saying Daryl Hannah is full of shit,⁴ and that she’s just upset because they got her so right and her ego is bruised. In this case I think perhaps NOT responding was the better choice, dickbag. — H

— Laura Dern is producing and starring in an adaptation of reporter Julie K. Brown’s book about busting open the Jeffrey Epstein case, leading to his and Ghislaine Maxwell’s arrests. When I clicked into the piece, I thought it was going to be The Jeffrey Epstein Story and was all set to scream into the void, but no, it’s about Brown and the work she did — and, in that sense, the value of journalism and of reporters who can’t be bullied. And hey, maybe by the time this comes out, it’ll make sure this is in the news closer to the 2028 election? At least we can all agree that it’s a RELIEF Ryan Murphy didn’t get this project first. — H

1. With Joey Tribbiani — H

2. Oh NO are they also going to cast Naomi Watts AGAIN???? A death rattle trifecta! — H

3. Whereas I am SO, SO TIRED OF KENNEDY CONTENT. Also remember when Katie Holmes played Jackie in an eight-part miniseries?!? — H

4. About her OWN SELF? Oy. - J